Choosing to become a surrogate is a deeply fulfilling journey which contributes in a meaningful way to the lives of others. Wherever you are located, be it Los Angeles, Boston, or a small town in between, it’s crucial to conduct your research and connect with a surrogacy agency that resonates with your expectations and comfort levels. There are multiple options out there and your physical location does not limit your choices.
For those who aim to venture deeper into the understanding of surrogacy and are contemplating becoming a surrogate, here are the ten key steps integral to the surrogacy process.
1. DECIPHERING THE ELIGIBILITY CRITERIA FOR SURROGATE MOTHERS
Potential surrogates must meet specific qualifications and requirements to ensure their capability and readiness to undertake surrogacy. It’s indeed a beautiful act of giving, deserving parents expecting nothing less than the mental, emotional, and physical fitness from their potential surrogate.
The best starting point would be to examine the list of criteria for surrogate mothers. Although they may seem lengthy, they’re crucial for the safety and appropriateness of the surrogacy procedure.
Generally, a successful surrogate individual:
* Has given birth to and is currently raising at least one child.
* Has had uncomplicated pregnancies and deliveries, as evident from medical records.
* Is within the age range of 21-44.
* Typically maintains a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 33 or lower.
* Is a legal citizen, resident, or immigrant of the United States. If a surrogate is a legal resident or immigrant, they must provide documentation that is valid for at least the next two years.
2. UNDERSTANDING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GESTATIONAL AND TRADITIONAL SURROGACY
In your surrogacy research journey, it’s important to understand the two primary types of surrogacy - traditional and gestational.
A gestational surrogate or gestational carrier carries and delivers a baby for intended parents who are unable to conceive on their own. Fertilized embryos are created using in vitro fertilization, sometimes with the help of an egg or sperm donor, and are introduced into the surrogate's womb. Gestational surrogates share no genetic connection with the child they carry.
In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate utilizes her own eggs and hence shares a biological connection to the child she’s carrying.
Gestational surrogacy is more prevalent today. Remember, in gestational surrogacy, no DNA is shared between surrogate and the baby.
3. FILLING OUT THE APPLICATION & INITIATING CONTACT
Once you feel confident and ready, you can take the next step by filling out the surrogate application. Remember, this is the stage where we start to learn about you. The information asked revolves around your health, past childbirth experiences, support system, and overall expectations from the surrogacy journey.
After application submission, our team will reach out to start the pre-screening process, address your queries, and discuss your anticipation towards this surrogacy journey. It’s also an opportunity for you to hear personal experiences from our team of experienced surrogates.
This stage also initiates a medical records review, psychological evaluations, and background checks ensuring the safety of both yourself and the baby.
4. PAIRING WITH INTENDED PARENTS
At our agency, surrogates have the liberty to express preferences about the kind of intended parents they wish to be paired with. You can share insights about your ideal intended parents, level of interaction, sharing, and overall expectations from the journey. Some key points to consider are:
* Would you consider matching with parents from another country or only from the United States?
* Are you comfortable helping heterosexual couples, same-sex couples, or even a single parent?
* What are your views on termination and selective reduction?
After reviewing potential intended parent profiles (and they review yours!), you, if both parties agree, can have a video call. If everything goes right, then both parties would be officially matched.
However, if things don’t go as expected, we will continue to share potential profiles till you find your ideal intended parents.
5. LEGAL AGREEMENT & CONTRACT FINALIZATION
As a surrogate, you will have your own independent legal representation throughout the process. You’ll collaborate closely with your attorney to finalize the agreement until both parties—you and your intended parents—are content.
Once negotiations are complete, you'll sign and return your Agreement(s), and the process will continue.
6. MEDICAL SCREENINGS
Medical screenings occur after the matching process and during contract negotiations. The clinic carries out checks like a medical exam, blood work, ultrasound, and other tests to ensure you're physically ready for the surrogacy. The costs related to travel for these screenings will be taken care of.
This phase also finalizes insurance coverage details to ensure all your medical bills incurred during the surrogacy process are covered.
7. PREPARING FOR - AND TRAVELING TO - THE EMBRYO TRANSFER
Once you're medically screened and the contract is signed, you'll receive an IVF treatment schedule. This schedule will consist of your medication start date and the actual transfer date.
During this period, your chosen local clinic will supervise your response to the IVF medications and share the results with the INTENDED PARENTS’ IVF clinic.
8. EMBRACING PREGNANCY!
The wait between the embryo transfer and the detection of a confirmed heartbeat, which usually happens around 6 weeks of pregnancy, can be quite unnerving. You will receive continual support during your pregnancy from your Journey Coordination team to ensure you and your IPs are geared up for birth.
Remember, it's incredibly rewarding to feel the knit of the community and support from other surrogates in such times.
9. HOSPITAL BAG AND DELIVERY DAY
You are familiar with childbirth and know what to anticipate! However, this time around, your intended parents will be there, eagerly waiting for the arrival of their baby.
On this day, you'll experience a sea of emotions, all of which are utterly normal and to be expected!
10. SELF-CARE
After successfully delivering the baby, it's time to relax and allow your body to heal. Most surrogates revel in the fact that, unlike their own childbirth, they can rest at home without the responsibility of a newborn baby to look after.
MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS POST BIRTH
Depending on the bond between you and the intended parents, you will decide on the level of communication that continues post birth. It can range from sharing updates and photos to planning outings and trips together.
Regardless of how the relationship unfolds, remember, you've undertaken an incredible, selfless act that has profoundly touched the lives of others.
DEEPER INSIGHTS INTO BECOMING A SURROGATE
If this process resonates with you, and you're still keen on becoming a surrogate, we encourage you to dig deeper. Explore previous surrogates' experiences, check out the requirements, calculate your potential surrogate income, and when you’re ready, apply!
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