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The Real Life of a Surrogate: 6 Secrets Unveiled



Misconceptions and misinformation are prevalent about gestational surrogacy. Lack of familiarity with surrogacy and the role of a gestational carrier often lead to these myths, causing confusion about the whole process. 


Many myths arise from a basic misunderstanding of what surrogacy entails. In this blog, we'll first explain the fundamental question: What is surrogacy? Then, we'll debunk some of the most common surrogacy myths to dispel any confusion about birthing a child through surrogacy. 


UNDERSTANDING GESTATIONAL SURROGACY


In gestational surrogacy – often simply referred to as surrogacy – an embryo gets created in a lab and transferred into the womb of a gestational carrier. The gestational carrier does not share any genetic connection with the child she carries. 


From a scientific perspective, this succinctly explains the process. Yet, from an emotional standpoint, gestational surrogacy is a remarkable and significant journey between would-be parents striving for a family and a benevolent woman inclined to carry their baby. Gestational surrogacy stands as a frequent and rewarding method to expand a family. 


Our guide to the 7 Truths About Gestational Surrogacy outlines that the baby and surrogate have no biological ties, surrogates typically report no emotional attachment to the babies they carry, surrogacy is a synergistic process with contributions from the surrogate and the intended parents; gestational carriers lead financially secure lifestyles in their residences, money isn't the primary incentive for gestational carriers, individuals from all areas of life choose surrogacy, and as the primary caregivers, parents form robust bonds with their baby. 


DEBUNKING THE MYTHS OF GESTATIONAL SURROGACY


MYTH 1: THE GESTATIONAL CARRIER IS GENETICALLY RELATED TO THE BABY. 

This is a complete misunderstanding! In gestational surrogacy, the gestational carrier does NOT use her egg to develop the embryo, meaning she does not share any genetic material with the baby. The biology of the intended parents or that of a separate donor (who isn’t the carrier) gets employed to create the embryo in their IVF clinic. This embryo is then implanted into the surrogate's womb. 


MYTH 2: THE GESTATIONAL SURROGATE WILL DEVELOP AN ATTACHMENT AND WANT TO KEEP THE BABY. 

This is a popular misperception. Gestational carriers undergo screening at the onset of the application process, including consultation with licensed social workers and psychological evaluations. These steps help determine if a woman is suitable for surrogacy, taking into account her perspective on the baby she'd be carrying. 


A woman who becomes a gestational carrier completely understands her lack of a biological connection with the baby and that it isn't her child. A common motive for women wanting to become surrogates is the gratification they derive from witnessing the initial moments of parenthood when they give the baby back to the intended parents. 





MYTH 3: SURROGATES ARE COMPELLED TO FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS OF THE INTENDED PARENTS, REGARDLESS OF THEIR WISHES.

When a gestational surrogate gets matched with the intended parents, each party has separate legal representation to create the Carrier Agreement Contract. Any requests from the intended parents are collectively discussed and agreed on during this stage. In case an intended parent makes a request the surrogate isn't comfortable with, it's addressed at this stage. After finalizing the surrogacy agreement, it's added to the contract and signed by both parties.


MYTH 4: MY SURROGATE WILL HAVE TO MOVE IN WITH ME. 


Absolutely not. This misunderstanding probably originated from Hollywood exaggeration. Hollywood has misrepresented surrogacy in movies like 'Baby Mama'. Intended parents are never expected to house their gestational carrier. A surrogate must have a robust support system and be emotionally and financially stable, including having her own place to live.


MYTH 5: WOMEN BECOME SURROGATES ONLY TO EARN MONEY. 


Women choose surrogacy for various reasons: some have witnessed a close friend or a family member struggle with infertility, others love being pregnant but are done growing their families, and some merely want to help someone else. Compensation simply supports a surrogate’s physical, emotional, and medical commitment to the journey.


MYTH 6: SURROGACY IS EXCLUSIVELY FOR CELEBRITIES.


Even though celebrities and surrogacy are often highlighted in the media, it's not restricted to the rich and famous. Everyday would-be parents from across the U.S. and globally embark on surrogacy journeys. Yes, surrogacy is a significant financial investment, but there are surrogacy programs designed to provide financial security and financing options to intended parents.


MYTH 7: USING A SURROGATE WILL MAKE IT HARD FOR ME TO BOND WITH THE BABY.


Bonding with your baby is a natural step on your parenthood journey, and everyone experiences it differently. Many intended parents are present at the birth and can have skin-to-skin contact with their baby almost immediately. This quiet moment, where your newborn rests against your bare chest, is one of the most intimate moments parent and child share. 


Some parents bond instantly with their child, while others may take a while longer. As the primary caregiver for your baby, the little one will soon recognize you as their source of love and comfort. 


Gestational surrogacy is a rewarding journey for all involved parties. 


If you're considering becoming a parent through surrogacy, we encourage you to reach out to a knowledgeable team. They can answer your questions and discuss the process in detail. Simply fill out a form online, and they'll get back to you soon!
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