Skip to main content

The Real Life of a Surrogate: 6 Secrets Unveiled



Misconceptions and misinformation are prevalent about gestational surrogacy. Lack of familiarity with surrogacy and the role of a gestational carrier often lead to these myths, causing confusion about the whole process. 


Many myths arise from a basic misunderstanding of what surrogacy entails. In this blog, we'll first explain the fundamental question: What is surrogacy? Then, we'll debunk some of the most common surrogacy myths to dispel any confusion about birthing a child through surrogacy. 


UNDERSTANDING GESTATIONAL SURROGACY


In gestational surrogacy – often simply referred to as surrogacy – an embryo gets created in a lab and transferred into the womb of a gestational carrier. The gestational carrier does not share any genetic connection with the child she carries. 


From a scientific perspective, this succinctly explains the process. Yet, from an emotional standpoint, gestational surrogacy is a remarkable and significant journey between would-be parents striving for a family and a benevolent woman inclined to carry their baby. Gestational surrogacy stands as a frequent and rewarding method to expand a family. 


Our guide to the 7 Truths About Gestational Surrogacy outlines that the baby and surrogate have no biological ties, surrogates typically report no emotional attachment to the babies they carry, surrogacy is a synergistic process with contributions from the surrogate and the intended parents; gestational carriers lead financially secure lifestyles in their residences, money isn't the primary incentive for gestational carriers, individuals from all areas of life choose surrogacy, and as the primary caregivers, parents form robust bonds with their baby. 


DEBUNKING THE MYTHS OF GESTATIONAL SURROGACY


MYTH 1: THE GESTATIONAL CARRIER IS GENETICALLY RELATED TO THE BABY. 

This is a complete misunderstanding! In gestational surrogacy, the gestational carrier does NOT use her egg to develop the embryo, meaning she does not share any genetic material with the baby. The biology of the intended parents or that of a separate donor (who isn’t the carrier) gets employed to create the embryo in their IVF clinic. This embryo is then implanted into the surrogate's womb. 


MYTH 2: THE GESTATIONAL SURROGATE WILL DEVELOP AN ATTACHMENT AND WANT TO KEEP THE BABY. 

This is a popular misperception. Gestational carriers undergo screening at the onset of the application process, including consultation with licensed social workers and psychological evaluations. These steps help determine if a woman is suitable for surrogacy, taking into account her perspective on the baby she'd be carrying. 


A woman who becomes a gestational carrier completely understands her lack of a biological connection with the baby and that it isn't her child. A common motive for women wanting to become surrogates is the gratification they derive from witnessing the initial moments of parenthood when they give the baby back to the intended parents. 





MYTH 3: SURROGATES ARE COMPELLED TO FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS OF THE INTENDED PARENTS, REGARDLESS OF THEIR WISHES.

When a gestational surrogate gets matched with the intended parents, each party has separate legal representation to create the Carrier Agreement Contract. Any requests from the intended parents are collectively discussed and agreed on during this stage. In case an intended parent makes a request the surrogate isn't comfortable with, it's addressed at this stage. After finalizing the surrogacy agreement, it's added to the contract and signed by both parties.


MYTH 4: MY SURROGATE WILL HAVE TO MOVE IN WITH ME. 


Absolutely not. This misunderstanding probably originated from Hollywood exaggeration. Hollywood has misrepresented surrogacy in movies like 'Baby Mama'. Intended parents are never expected to house their gestational carrier. A surrogate must have a robust support system and be emotionally and financially stable, including having her own place to live.


MYTH 5: WOMEN BECOME SURROGATES ONLY TO EARN MONEY. 


Women choose surrogacy for various reasons: some have witnessed a close friend or a family member struggle with infertility, others love being pregnant but are done growing their families, and some merely want to help someone else. Compensation simply supports a surrogate’s physical, emotional, and medical commitment to the journey.


MYTH 6: SURROGACY IS EXCLUSIVELY FOR CELEBRITIES.


Even though celebrities and surrogacy are often highlighted in the media, it's not restricted to the rich and famous. Everyday would-be parents from across the U.S. and globally embark on surrogacy journeys. Yes, surrogacy is a significant financial investment, but there are surrogacy programs designed to provide financial security and financing options to intended parents.


MYTH 7: USING A SURROGATE WILL MAKE IT HARD FOR ME TO BOND WITH THE BABY.


Bonding with your baby is a natural step on your parenthood journey, and everyone experiences it differently. Many intended parents are present at the birth and can have skin-to-skin contact with their baby almost immediately. This quiet moment, where your newborn rests against your bare chest, is one of the most intimate moments parent and child share. 


Some parents bond instantly with their child, while others may take a while longer. As the primary caregiver for your baby, the little one will soon recognize you as their source of love and comfort. 


Gestational surrogacy is a rewarding journey for all involved parties. 


If you're considering becoming a parent through surrogacy, we encourage you to reach out to a knowledgeable team. They can answer your questions and discuss the process in detail. Simply fill out a form online, and they'll get back to you soon!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Misconception: Intended parents have no say in the prenatal care of the surrogate.

Once upon a time, nestled in the heart of New York City, a young couple sat anxiously in a plush, carpeted waiting room. Samantha gripped her husband Jake’s hand, her eyes oscillating between the ticking clock and the closed office door. They were about to step into an uncharted territory – surrogacy. But a thought bubble above their heads carried the same unnerving question - Do intended parents have any say in the prenatal care of the surrogate? This overarching question has been a source of worry for many prospective intended parents. Conventional wisdom has fostered an erroneous belief that intended parents find themselves on the sidelines, watching passively without having any say in prenatal care once they choose to walk the path of surrogacy. However, the reality is far more nuanced, and the narrative much more empowering. Digging deeper into this myth, we discovered an intriguing plethora of data from a slew of studies and legal documents across many countries. One particular s...
Post a Comment
Read more

Misconception: Surrogacy agreements often result in legal battles over custody.

In 2006, a child was born in Modesto, California. A seemingly ordinary occurrence, regularly repeated thousands of times every day across the globe, but there was something peculiar about this particular birth. You see, the woman who had given birth was not the child's biological mother.  This woman was a surrogate, her womb rented by a couple unable to conceive, desperate for a child of their own. By way of good intentions, an embryo, the genetic product of this hopeful couple, was implanted inside the surrogate, and a few months later, a baby boy was born. But instead of passing the newborn into the waiting arms of the expectant parents, a dramatic legal tug-of-war ensued over who the baby rightfully belonged to. This tale of embattled surrogacy caught the media's attention and soon echoed across the entire country, sparking unease and caution around surrogacy agreements. Yet, in the shuffle of high-pitched media and conjured fears, a crucial detail was lost - this incident w...
Post a Comment
Read more

Misconception: Surrogacy is frowned upon by the majority of the public.

In the crisp predawn light, Chicago native Sarah Patterson kicked a tiled stone underfoot as she strolled along the crowded street. Its soft clatter bounced off the crumbled brickwork, dissipating into the morning fog. She wasn't thinking about the stone, nor indeed the precarious architecture around her. As she treaded her path alongside passersby rushing about their individual worlds, her thoughts were connected to an audacious concept— a concept of offering her body, her time and her life to fulfill the dreams of a couple unknown to her. In essence, she had made the life-altering decision to become a surrogate mother. The decision, however, was met with a parade of raised eyebrows and tsk-ing amongst her acquaintances—even some close friends. The thought echoed in the corners of her mind: "Isn't surrogacy frowned upon by a large majority of society?" This widespread belief, while seemingly grounded in the societal zeitgeist, warrants examination on account of its d...
Post a Comment
Read more